Nicholas II

"Well my life just SUCKS!!"

- Nicholas II

Nicholas II, officially named Nikolai II Alexandrovich Romanov, was the last tsar of Russia, ruling from November 1894 until his abdication in March 1917. During his reign, Nicholas admitted that he didn't want to be tsar, and his incompetence resulted in him ruthlessly oppressing his own people while callously sending countless soldiers to their deaths. He met his end in the Ipatiev House in Yekaterinberg alongside his family, where they were stabbed, shot, and bayoneted to death. They are venerated as saints in the Russian Orthodox Church.

Early life as Tsesaeravich
Nicholas II was born Nicholas Alexandrovich Romanov on May 18, 1868. He was the son of a brutal repressor named Alexander III, and was the grandson of assassinated Tsar Alexander II. He experienced some childhood trauma when his grandfather foretold Nicholas that he would face the same fate as Alexander II. After his grandfather's assassination, Alexander III ascended to the throne, and immediately started repressing basically everyone. Alexander hesitated to teach Nicholas how to be tsar, and instead sent him on a road trip to Japan, where he got a good-looking dragon tattoo, met the Emperor of Japan, and literally got a part of his head sliced off by some Japanese policeman. Upon his return, Alexander finally began to teach Nicholas how to be tsar, but only got to telling Nicholas that there was a lot to know before becoming Tsar when he suddenly had kidney inflammation and died, immediately making Nicholas the new tsar, taking on the regnal name Nicholas II.

Rule as Tsar
Nicholas was a timid and easily swayed monarch who was more interested in doing some pretty weird and crazy stuff than in ruling. He even said that he was not ready to be Tsar and was knew nothing on how to rule. He was coronated on May 2, 1896. He wanted to get things off at a good start, and told everyone that there was free pretzels and beer, causing a massive stampede that resulted in 1,500 people getting stomped to death. Nicholas considered helping the people recover from the tragedy but his advisors told him that there was no precedent of this and instead, Nicholas went to party with the French at 8 o'clock, already tarnishing his image.

Nicholas was uninterested in improving the lives of the people, and since he was growing unpopular, he wanted to go with a weak an pathetic nation so he could win and gain popularity again. He decided to go to war with Japan, as both of them had ambitions in Manchuria. However, the war suddenly went awry as the soldiers were ill-prepared and the Russian Navy was annihilated at the Battle of Tsushima. Everyone hated this and started to protest. A group of people led by a priest named Father Gapon marched to the Winter Palace to present a petition to the Tsar with signs of love and support for him. They eventually met a group of soldiers who opened fire on the crowds, leading the event to be called "Bloody Sunday", and further causing Nicholas' popularity to plummet. Eventually, everyone got so tired that they started a Revolution, and although Nicholas and the Imperials won, it caused Russia to go from an absolute monarchy to a constitutional one. Nicholas opened the Duma, and appointed Sergei Witte as Russia's first Prime Minister, and let him start modernization policies at last. New factories were made with terrible living conditions which angered the working class. However, the economy started to go back up, with many hoping that Nicholas would not mess anything up. However, Nicholas brought in a bearded, drunken, horny, scandal-ridden, magic wizard man who smelled like a goat, leading everyone to know they were screwed.

Rasputin
Rasputin was a monk who originated from Siberia, and according to rumors, he had magical wizard-like powers. Nicholas' son Alexei was suffering from a royal disease which was called haemophilia which caused excessive bleeding. One time, Alexei was brought close to death by the disease and would've died if not for Rasputin's "magical healing powers." Soon, Rasputin had influence over the entire family and many believed it was him who was calling the shots and not Nicholas. This caused Nick's popularity to start decreasing again. When WW1 broke out, Russia did some pretty stupid decisions and forced the nobles to do something about the homeless monk. On December 30, 1916, Rasputin was assassinated by a group of high ranking nobles and thrown in the Malaya Nevka River.

WW1
On June 28, 1914, Archduke Franz Ferdinand and his wife were assassinated by a Bosnian Serb whilst riding around Sarajevo. After rejecting 1 of the 10 conditions Austro-Hungary sent to Serbia, Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia. Nicholas, who had a duty as protector of the Slavs (and also had an alliance with Serbia), declared war on Austria, but since Austria was allies with Germany, Germany declared war on Russia, and since Russia was in an alliance with France and Britain, both of them declared war on the Central Powers, plus the Ottoman Empire.

At first, things went smoothly for Russia. They managed to push the Germans out of East Prussia and made good advances on Austria, but things began to go awry after the Battle of Tannenberg, where two Russian armies were annihilated by one German army. This caused the Tsar's reputation to begin to fall apart. By the end of 1914, the Russian Army was in retreat. By 1915, things were looking terrible for Russia. Despite seeing success in the Ottoman Empire, they were absolutely failing in Europe. Russia's armies had been pushed out of Germany and Austria, and everyone was starting to get tired of the war. Nicholas' uncle, Grand Duke Nicholas, was recalled and Nicholas installed himself as Commander-in-Chief of the Russian armies. By 1916, Russia was in a state of turmoil. The Tsar was incredibly unpopular, the troops were demoralized, and supplies were running low. However, a general by the name of Alexei Brusilov managed to catch the Austrians completely by surprise and make a deep push into Austria, but by now, it was too late.

Russian Revolution and downfall
By early 1917, the Russian people had had enough. The Germans were now a few hundred miles away from St. Petersburg and the army was suffering defeat after defeat after defeat and morale, supplies, food, and the economy was super low. Everyone knew Russia was doomed. On March 8, thousands of hungry protesters took to the streets. The soldiers were ordered to fire, but instead joined the revolutionaries. Nicholas was forced to abdicate and after his son and brother refused to become tsar, the 300-year old monarchy ended. Nicholas II and his family were sentenced to house arrest; soon, however, a group of drunk Bolsheviks murdered the entire family.

Trivia

 * TBA

Appearances

 * WW1 (Part 2) [not named, does not speak]
 * The Russian Revolution (both parts)